Rusconomorephalistis
by llama2910
Summary: My first ever fanfic. The Doctor never manages to stay on his own for very long. Please read and review.


** Rusco- no- more- phalistis**

She was one of those people that go through life without anything extraordinary ever happening to them. She worked as a receptionist for a large publishing company. She didn't have a partner, or any pets, she didn't have a large personality, or astonishingly good looks, she was just, there. And she was walking home from the bus stop after an exceptionally slow day at work when she saw him.

He was tall and thin, with dark hair that looked like he had just run a mile on a windy day. He stood tall and proud, the way gods and great warriors stood in ancient art, wearing a long, brown coat over a blue suit even though it was the middle of summer. He looked...out of place. And he was walking towards her.

Well not towards her, he walked straight by her, almost as if he didn't see her. She didn't know why, but she suddenly turned to follow him. Maybe it was his eyes, his vacant eyes staring right through her, or maybe because he seemed... seemed out of place. As if he was from another time. As she was rushing to catch up with the strange man, a million thoughts were travelling, unravelling through her brain. The strange man didn't seem to notice anything, not the roar of the plane overhead, or the barking of dogs, nor did he notice a plain young woman running after him, muttering under her breath.

The man stopped at the front door of a very ordinary looking house, but instead of knocking, he took what seemed to be a screwdriver with a blue light on one end from his coat pocket and proceeded to wave it about, prodding the hinges of the wooden door, and peeking through small window at the top.

She stood by the curb, watching him. Although he appeared not to have noticed her, he knew she was there, and somehow, she knew he knew. Suddenly the screwdriver emitted a loud beep and the door swung open. She watched in shock as he darted through the door, only to poke his head out a few seconds later.

"Well, come on then!" he said brightly, "You're gonna miss the best part." The woman looked around, shocked that he had addressed her. She had been hoping to sneak away without having to speak with the strange man.

"And which part is that?" she asked him, nervously.

"Ahh... you know, the bit where I do something brilliant- that I haven't actually thought of yet but never mind, and save the world." He replied. "You coming or what?" With that, he darted back through the door. The young woman stood by the curb a little longer, trying to decide whether her common sense outweighed her curiosity to find out more about the man in the long coat. She quickly crossed the driveway, before her apprehensions about following a strange man into a strange house that he had appeared to have broken into got the better of her.

She had just caught up to him when he stopped. Suddenly. She stopped. Not so suddenly.

"Woah, hello there.' he said, laughing, "Under most circumstances, running someone over is not the best way of introducing yourself. Most civilisations start with their name, except this one time where..."

"Why would you want to know my name?" She interrupted, trying, and failing, to sound suspicious, but it was difficult to sound anything but stupid when she was lying in a crumpled heap on the floor.

"Personally I couldn't care less, I was just being polite".

"Alice. I'm Alice. And sorry for running into you. Maybe you should give a little more warning next time you are about to stop. Just to avoid further collisions." She said indignantly. She slowly got up of the floor, brushing herself off and remarked, "Wow, this floor is seriously dusty. You don't have asthma do you? I don't, but my friend Lisa does and she says..."

The man interrupted her by laughing. He had a great, booming laugh, one that didn't quite fit his slight frame. "Sorry to be rude, but I don't care anymore about what Lisa says than I do about your name. And maybe you should pay more attention to the person you're following next time. Just to avoid future collisions. I'm the Doctor by the way."

Alice looked at the man who called himself the Doctor, with his booming laugh and odd screwdriver. It was then that she noticed his eyes. They were not vacant, as she had thought, but deep and brown and...old. Suddenly she was scared that if she looked into them for too long she would get lost. It was then that she noticed him staring at her. "What?" she asked. She wondered if she had done something wrong, apart from the whole running into him thing. The piercing dark eyes that looked older than the face they were set in darkened as they looked at her.

"Usually I tell someone that and they say 'Just the Doctor?' and I say 'Yes' and then they say, 'But that can't be your real name' and I say, 'It is' and then they get confused and it is very amusing. Why aren't you confused?"

"I honestly don't know." She replied, relieved that she hadn't offended him, "But seeing as you wear a coat in the middle of summer and have a screwdriver that unlocks doors, your name being 'The Doctor' is not nearly the strangest thing about you".

The Doctor frowned, but his eyes seemed to be laughing at her. "You're no fun. And wait till you see the rest of the stuff I can do. Opening a door with a screwdriver won't be so impressive after you've seen what I can do with... this!" He pulled what looked like a very large blender from what looked like a very average sized pocket of his coat.

Alice stared at the blender-like object in the Doctors hand, "How on earth did that fit inside your pocket?" she exclaimed.

The Doctor shrugged, "Bigger on the inside"

Alice's eyes widened as she stared at the blender.

"You ok? It's not really all that spectacular, is it?" The Doctor asked, inspecting the object in his hand.

Alice shook her head, "Sorry, just having a Mary Poppins moment. Carry on."

"A what?" The Doctor asked absently, still inspecting his blender, "Well anyway, come on... I've got a Ruscomorphalistis to catch." He started running down the narrow corridor.

"A rusco... what?" Alice tried to ask as she ran after him, twisting and turning and trying not to trip over the very ugly rug the owner of the house had laid along the winding passageway. The Doctor laughed but didn't answer. He skidded to a halt and spun to face Alice.

"I've stopped. Don't run into me." He said, holding his hands up in front of him.

Alice glared at him. "Thanks for the warning" she said sarcastically. She looked around, "Um, sorry, but why have you stopped? There's nothing here." But the Doctor was focused on the door in front of him, prodding at it with his screwdriver and muttering to himself.

"Can't smell you, can't see you, where are you? Oh you clever thing! Come out, come out wherever you are! Wood, brick, concrete, metal, wood, brick, concrete metal, wood, brick, concrete, AH! Ruscomorphalistis!"

He jabbed the heavy wooden door with his screwdriver one more time and watched as it seemed to convulse. "Alice?" he asked quietly. Alice glanced up at the doctor's ancient eyes,

"Doctor?"

"You might want to duck..."

Alice looked at him incredulously "Ahh..."

"NOW!"

Alice ducked just as to door in front of her shattered. "Oh... duck."

The Doctor laughed, a great booming laugh that didn't quite fit within his lean frame. He was still laughing as he bent down, picking up the thousands of pieces of wood that were now scattered through the room.

The Doctor smiled again, "Rusco- no- more- phalistis!" He frowned as he saw Alice's confused expression. "It's a joke." He explained, "Rusco- n-, oh don't worry. What's wrong? Do I have something on my face?" he asked.

Alice looked up at him, "What was it? Where did it go? That's not a blender. Where'd the blender go? Who are you? What am I doing? Why am I here?" She stopped when she saw the Doctor's amused expression.

"Any others?" he asked.

She glared at him, "No, I think that's it."

"Ok, Ruscomorphalistis, gone, no, same place as Ruscomorphalistis, the Doctor, standing there asking questions, you followed me."

Alice shook her head slowly, trying to understand what was happening. "Ok, question one. What is a Rusimorphal- thingy"

The Doctor grinned, "Ruscomorphalistis. A type of alien fungi that infects all of a planet's hard surfaces, woods, metals etc. Then it grows and matures and... let's just say, it's not pretty."

Alice nodded, "Question two. What did you do to it?"

"Killed it. Using a disposable trans-dimensional molecul.... umm... a bin."

Alice raised her eyebrows, "A bin?"

"A special bin."

"Oh. Question 3. Who are you?"

"I told you. I'm the Doctor."

"Ok, let me rephrase, what are you?"

The Doctor looked at Alice, "I'm just the Doctor. That's who I am, that's what I am. That's it. The Doctor."

Alice looked back at him, holding his gaze, "Question three, why did you want me to follow you?"

The Doctor smiled, "That one's easy, it's much for fun to save the world in an awesome and impressive manner if someone's watching."

Alice shrugged. "It wasn't that impressive. All you did was put a door in a blender."

The Doctor narrowed his eyes, "I saved the world. It was impressive. Now, Question four, do you want to come with me?"

Alice looked at the Doctor to see if he was joking, but for the first time his face was serious. "Come with you? Where?"

"Everywhere."


End file.
